Nutrisystem Day 6 - Chelsea Handler Fat Joke or My Paranoia?
Today's Nutrisystem Tips...
* Bringing snacks to a food-based event is a smart way to curb temptation
* My ego is as big as my butt
* Chelsea Handler is quite possibly a bitch
And now, here are the details of my 6th day on NS....
What I Weighed Today: 202.5 lbs. (8am)
There is no better incentive to stay on a diet than the thought of attending a star-studded event and being the largest person there. The worst part is that I spent the night doing my normal thing and entertaining the volunteers and by the end of the night they all agreed that I should be a celebrity with my own show. I know what I have and how special and unique it is but I still haven’t broken through. Why? Well, that has yet to be made clear. But I am going to eliminate weight as one of the possible issues.
Angie Harmon walked by looking gorgeous but you could count each vertebra in her spine (and the bitch has given birth to two children). The event was a charity ball for Chrysalis. It is held at an estate down the street from Arnold Schwarznegger’s compound in Brentwood. It is unbelievably opulent and celebrity-packed each year and although I would gladly work my fingers to the bone even if no stars attended (I must admit I love getting a chance to see them close up). If for nothing else than to see who got pizza-face under all their makeup.
No exaggeration, I am usually the largest woman on hand for this thing, both amongst the volunteers and the other staff working the event. It doesn’t bother me but I am always very attuned to where I rank size-wise in any room I enter. First I check for size, then eventually I see if there are any other black folks. It’s just something I do. I wonder if I will still do that after 50 more pounds (I’ll always do the black count, can’t run from that). What’s funny is when I realize I am the largest woman in the room, but also the smartest and the prettiest. Knowing that doesn’t make it feel any better when a male still chooses the attentions of one of the other slimmer/dumber/less attractive women. I will never understand the thought process of men, but I allow for the fact that I am not attracted to every man I meet so they are entitled to be attracted to whoever they choose to. Just wish it wasn’t based on such shallow criteria. If I wind up raising sons, I am going to teach them differently.
What I Ate Today:
Breakfast: NS Cranberry Orange Pastry, 1 oz Low-Fat Cheddar Cheese, 4 cups Coffee w/8 tablespoons Fat-Free Creamer & 4 tablespoons Sugar-Free Hazelnut syrup – 300 calories
Lunch: NS Pasta with Beef, 2 cups Baby Carrots, 1 Low-Fat Cheddar Cheese – 300 calories
Snack: 1 apple – 55.1 calories
Dinner: NS Hearty Beef Stew, 2 cups Baby Carrots, 1 Low-Fat Cheddar Cheese – 275 calories
Dessert: NS Cheese Puffs – 140 calories
TOTAL CALORIES: 1070.1
Walking, 2 hours
I wasn’t able to bring my NS dinner because there were no microwaves. Volunteer check-in was 3 p.m. and we wouldn’t be excused until after 11 p.m. They provide dinner and snacks and usually I indulge heavily because I am running around and on my feet the whole time. However, this time I brought my NS Cheese Puffs and an apple. I also brought a big bottle of water. In the volunteer space there were bags of chocolate, gourmet dinners, chips and these baked pieces of cheese that looked incredible. I realized immediately that there was nothing from the meal that I could salvage because the chicken was breaded and fried and the salad had already been doused in dressing and had the fried chicken sitting on top of it. I was offered everything under the sun and I did not eat, taste, or even lick anything. I was tempted with the cheese but I stopped myself. I am proud of that accomplishment. Can I really be considered an addict if I can be surrounded by my drug of choice and abstain? Um, yeah, I think so. I’m in recovery but the addiction will always be there.
One interesting situation happened that I still can’t explain but it is sticking with me. Chelsea Handler, a comic with a late night talk show called The Chelsea Lately Show, passed by me in the registration line and I told her what a huge part of my life she was and that I never missed a show. She said to me, “Well, now you’re going to be a huge part of my life, too.” Just like that, with the emphasis on the word ‘huge.’ I think it was a fat joke but I’m not sure. I’m trying not to be paranoid but her humor is historically acerbic and she can be really mean sometimes so it could have been meant the way I read it. But would she do that at a charity function without knowing who I was??? Whatev’ Bitch wasn’t as skinny as half the people there herself.
* NS Cranberry Orange Pastry – 130 calories
MEH. *Heavy sigh * I chose this because I thought it would be a freaking “pastry!” Ya know, with frosting on it!! It was a loaf-like cake thing. Why not call it ‘Cranberry Orange Bread’ or bake it in little circles and call it ‘Cranberry Orange Muffins?’ The consistency and taste were no different than the other items they called muffins. Dry, sweet, with a slightly musky aftertaste and requiring water to consume without choking. Not horrible, but not as described and nothing I would eat if I wasn’t on this plan.
* NS Pasta with Beef – 180 calories
MEH. Chef Boy-F*cking-Ardee!! A little tin with a pull tab lid filled with tiny shell pasta and 1/3 a handful of booger-size beef bits. Taste was decent but I like Chef-Boy-Ardee……..WHEN I’M PAYING 99 CENTS A CAN FOR IT!!! Not when it comes billed as a delicious entrée as part of an expensive eating plan.
* NS Hearty Beef Stew – 180 calories
MEH. More beef boogers. Little bit better than my lunch but not much and I ate this really late at night and was uber hungry. It still was nothing to write home or here about.
* NS Cheese Puffs – 140 calories
YUM! I like these. But I’ve always liked low-fat cheese puffs in comparison to their high-fat counterparts. The puffs were cheesy and tasty. Not too fake tasting and no aftertaste. The only bad thing about this snack was that you get so little of it. I would buy this item outside of this plan.
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