Nutrisystem Day 14 - Bingeing on Diet Food
Today's Nutrisystem Tips:
* I need a go-to plan for those moments I’m tempted to (and often do) binge.
* Exercise should be first on my list of stress-relief activities.
And now, here are the details of my 14th day on the Nutrisystem diet program...
What I Weighed Today: 201 lbs. (8am)
What I Ate Today:
Breakfast: NS Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal, 3 oz. Low-Fat String Cheese, 1 Apple, 1 Non-Fat Yogurt, 4 cups Coffee w/8 tablespoons Fat-Free Creamer & 4 tablespoons Sugar-Free Hazelnut syrup – 625 calories
Lunch: NS Cheesy HomeStyle Potatoes, NS Blueberry Lemon Bar, 3 oz. Low-Fat String Cheese, 1 cup Baby Carrots, 4 oz. Low-Fat Turkey, 1 tablespoon Light I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Butter – 899.2 calories
Snack: 1 Non-Fat Yogurt – 80 calories
Dinner: 6 oz. Tilapia Filets, Frozen Fruit Cup - Ruby Red Grapefruit , 4 cups Coffee w/8 tablespoons Fat-Free Creamer & 4 tablespoons Sugar-Free Hazelnut syrup, 2 tablespoons Light I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Butter – 683.5 calories
Dessert: NS Fudge Brownie – 140 calories
TOTAL CALORIES: 2364.4
I lost it today. Just lost it. Nearly 2,400 calories. I literally binged on diet food. I was ravenous and crying and miserable. I want so badly to be stronger than this. I feel like I’m never going to conquer this.
I don’t even know what I should have done to stop myself because from the minute I got up I was crazed with hunger. Sleeping didn’t work. Coffee didn’t work. I guess I could have tried working out. OH GOD, I SHOULD HAVE WORKED OUT!! It’s literally just dawning on me now. I bet I could have, literally, run this out of me. Or at least if I didn’t run it out I would have burned off some of the extra calories I ate. I could have even just stayed at the gym for hours. Sat in the pool, the sauna, something! Just kill time so I wouldn’t be at home with food.
If I was out, I don’t think I would have bought any food. I seem to be able to resist that. But apparently the food in my house is too hard to get away from. I just wanted to stuff myself. I just wanted to be so full I couldn’t eat anything else and it was all-consuming, that feeling. Complete loss of control.
Of course that jackass that is supposed to be supplying me with sex wasn’t around. Maybe I need two of those. Then I can make sure I’m never without a fix. That might have helped this situation (burned calories, too).
I need fail-proof plans in place for this kind of thing. Distractions, destruction, whatever it takes. This is more of that CRAZY I was talking about. I don’t understand it and I am really angry at myself.
I feel a little angry at the world, too. Why do I have to starve? Why do I have to work at it? Why can’t I just be a girl who eats anything she wants but stays rail thin and beautiful??? I know, I KNOW...CRAZY!! I just feel like bingeing (but not purging!). Or should it be spelled "binging?" They both look wrong to me. Gee, I really am losing it (my mind, not the weight!)
* NS Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal – 200 calories
MEH. Put too much water in it so I ruined it. But it wasn’t that great the first time I ate it, either.
* NS Cheesy HomeStyle Potatoes – 210 calories
YUM! Freeze-dried, but pretty good after I added a little I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Butter to them. Just a teaspoon but it really changed the flavor and texture. I have a lot of faith in potatoes, plus I was desperate for something like this so I’m not sure if my opinion on this one can be trusted. I’ve been jonesing to eat a whole bag of baked BBQ Lays since I started this diet and this is as close as I’ve gotten to that kind of potato orgasm.
* NS Chocolate Fudge Bar – 140 calories
MEH. Stank ass aftertaste killed me.
* NS Blueberry Lemon Bar – 160 calories
YUM! So nummy. Licked the lemony frosting off my fingers after I ate it.
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