Jenny Craig Day 21 - Results Require Work in Dieting or Life
Today's Jenny Craig Tips:
* It doesn’t matter whether you’re trying to keep your love life or your diet together because the approach should always be the same: Take it day by day.
* Whether you're a waif or a whale, life ain’t no fairy tale.
And now, here are the details of my 21st day on the Jenny Craig diet plan...
What I Weighed Today: 189 lbs. (8am)
Subject: RE: Please take 5 minutes......
Date: Aug 31, 2009 6:23 PM
You are a very beautiful and intelligent young lady. I really like you. My big mistake was trying to start a relationship before I ended one. I apologize. To be fair with you, I need to handle THIS. I will call you later.
He will never call and I will soon be okay with that. Right now, I am sad that this happened to me again but I am glad that I know what happened. I’m not going to pretty this up or try to be a diva about it. I’m hurt, and I’m tired of going through this. I have a lump in my throat that won’t go away. If I’m not busy for more than a minute or two, I start to tear up. I feel like a fool. Not because I got deceived, because there was no way to know his story. It would have eventually come out but at the stage we were currently at, no one could have guessed he was anything but sincere. I feel like a fool because I didn’t keep myself in check. I know my own track record, I know that this kind of thing can set me back months physically & emotionally. But I still let him in. I still allowed myself to believe.
Every fairy tale had a bloody lining. Every one had teeth and claws. —Alice Hoffman
When I was young (from puberty into my 20's) I had a running fairy tale that I had created in my head. There was a beautiful version of me with clear perfect skin, long black silky hair, the perfect body and, depending on the day, either incredible singing or acting talent. This version of me was named Debbie. I have no idea why, I just chose the name at some point. She was a star and, in my fantasies, guys that I had crushes on would fall deeply in love with her from just sitting near her in class. Some of these fantasies I would stop and start like a novella for weeks or months in my head. The vivid scenarios would run through my head and follow Debbie and her paramours from high school, through college, careers and children. Her life was happy, beautiful and free from strife. She was everything I thought I didn’t have the talent or beauty to be and I stepped into her life no less than 10 times a day. I would pray for quiet time on the bus or in my room so I could be Debby in my head. At some point in my late 20's I found that I could not conjure Debby anymore. I tried but the stories wouldn’t come together anymore because I couldn’t get them to be believable to me.
What I Ate Today:
Breakfast: Jenny Craig Breakfast Stuffed Sandwich, 2 oz. String Cheese, 2 cups Coffee w/4 tablespoons sugar-free Hazelnut creamer
Snack 1: Jenny Cookies & Cream Anytime Bar
Lunch: Jenny Craig Beef & Barley Stew, Cucumbers, String Cheese
Snack: Jenny Craig Chocolate Chip Cookie
Dinner: Jenny Craig Chicken Carbonara, Mixed Steamed Veggies
Snack: Pear, Apple
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. —Mae West
At some point I decided there are no fairy tales per se. There are wonderful situations that happen in life but a lot of it is cultivated through hard work, it doesn’t just show up magically on your doorstep. I feel like every step I am taking toward bettering myself and my position in life is part of creating my own little fairy tale. The ending may not include a knight on a white horse. That is not in the cards for all of us. But what can be in the cards for me is a healthy strong body, a clear path to maintaining an acceptable weight without deprivation, a happy, healthy mother for the children I intend to have and a loving relationship with myself. The fairy tale mentality is what kept me fat and getting fatter for so long. Fairy tales are usually all or nothing. In fairy tales anything that makes you unhappy can be eliminated in an instant but in real life you have to chip away at the insurmountable until it becomes conquerable. And by the time you whittle it down to something manageable, you are so exhausted from the battle to get to that point, that it is almost impossible not to just give up. But you can’t. I can’t. These diets are proving it. Five pounds a month, 1 diet at a time. Had you spoken to me a year ago I would have told you that 190 was a fairy tale for me, now it is a reality. What’s next? I’m not looking any further than the end of this 28 days. I’m not sure that I will make weight this month but I will get as close as I can. If I make it, great. If not, I will head into next month with a new determination. But I will not under any circumstances give up.
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