Jenny Craig Day 20 - Eating, Heartbreak, Match.com and Kate Moss
Today's Jenny Craig Tips:
* Finding strength in your ability to master your diet will lead to finding strength in other areas (like not taking crap from a certain unnamed gender).
* Sometimes the best goal you can create for yourself in a given day is “Don’t fill loveless void with Chips Ahoy.”
And now, here are the details of my 20th day on JC...
What I Weighed Today: 189 lbs. (8am)
I sent this to Howard today:
Sent: Sunday, August 30, 2009 2:51 PM
Subject: Please take 5 minutes......
If you could please just do me the favor of letting me know what happened. I promise I will not try to contact you again, I will not argue with you or hound you. I just need to know why. If it's something I did then I'd like to just be able to change so I can improve myself for the next situation I find myself in. If it was just a personal situation for you, that's cool too.
I sent you a text this weekend but I wanted to follow up with an email in case you didn't get it or in the hopes that you might give a 2nd thought to giving me some closure.
I know this is borderline pathetic and that most people either would not do this or wouldn’t admit to doing it but I want my freaking closure. I deserve it! Don’t get it twisted, I know that he will most likely not respond to this. He hasn’t responded to any of my other texts or emails. Of course, those communications were not as cut and dry as this one. If he is a half-way decent guy he will at least let me know what happened. He will probably let me down easy but at least I will know that he’s not coming back. I told my friend Becky that I think he was cheating on his “ex.” I don’t think she was an ex and I think he got caught. This would explain the unceremonious dumping. All I can do now is wait to see if he answers…………..I’m not holding my breath.
When a love comes to an end, weaklings cry, efficient ones instantly find another love, and the wise already have one in reserve. —Oscar Wilde
In the meantime, I have re-posted to Match.com and “winked” at several potential suitors. I was feeling sorry for myself again today and I decided that the stupidity of returning to internet dating was better than sitting depressed in my apartment, alone with my refrigerator.
I have not reached my goal for this month (186) and I feel that all this emotional stress is holding me back. My head is not in the game right now, but it will be. I just keep reminding myself that the two things should have nothing to do with each other. Me losing weight and me losing a man have never gone hand in hand, but this is a new me right? That means that strife in my life should not equate to a doughnut in my hand……although doughnuts are truly a gift from God and the person who invented them should win a Nobel prize. But I digress, and I am making changes in the way I deal with my emotions and therefore can not use heartbreak as an excuse to binge.
What I Ate Today:
Breakfast: Jenny Craig Cranberry Almond Cereal, 2 oz. String Cheese, 2 cups Coffee w/4 tablespoons sugar-free Hazelnut creamer
Snack 1: Jenny Peanut Butter Chocolate Anytime Bar
Lunch: Jenny Craig Turkey Burger, Salad w/Jenny Craig Balsamic Vinaigrette, 2 oz. String Cheese
Dinner: Jenny Craig Teriyaki Glazed Salmon, Mixed Veggies
Snack: Jenny Craig Bruschetta Veggie Chips
Life itself is the proper binge. —Julia Child
Part of this journey is recognizing and testing the fact that we as humans can live with and commit to anything for short bursts of time or at least some of us can. I can hold tight to this eating plan for 28 days with a small weight loss goal because I know that the food items that I truly need or want will be available for me during my 1 week break in between. How can I apply this logic to heartbreak?
How about I commit to not bingeing over Howard until my one week break? If I still want to binge, I will allow myself to do so then. But I don’t think I will want to binge. I think the habits I have created will hold fast. The reason I think this is because I haven’t completely derailed myself up to this point. There have been several moments where I wanted to. I have been so close to the edge that my hand was actually on a food item that was clearly not on any food plan designed for weight loss and I was able to resist. I was able to realize that it wasn’t worth it. Hmmmm, maybe Kate Moss was right. Maybe nothing does taste as good as thin feels. While I refuse to give that stupid cow credit for any intelligent statement, I will say that it kind of fits this particular situation…….Damn it!
* Jenny Craig Cranberry Almond Cereal
YUM! Still a favorite.
* Jenny Craig Turkey Burger
YUM! Sloppy, flavorful, goodness. Add a little fat-free mayo and it’s all good!
* Jenny Craig Teriyaki Glazed Salmon
Meh! This was pretty good flavor-wise but I think I may have gone wrong in the heating because it was a little dry. I ate it all though. I think I may have it again next week and I will see if I like it better then.
* Jenny Craig Bruschetta Veggie Chips
YUM! Still a MAJOR favorite. I wonder if I could find something like this in a store. I bet I could.
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