South Beach Diet Day 27 - Junk Food

Today's South Beach Diet Tips:

* It’s easy to say “Screw South Beach!” when you’re surrounded by popcorn-noshing friends at a Harry Potter movie.

* You can recover from your popcorn-noshing slipup by making the next thing you put in your mouth the saintliest food you can think of.

And now, here are the details of my 27th day on the South Beach Diet...

What I Weighed Today: 190.5 lbs. (8am)

My friends and I had a movie night tonight. For once, we all wanted to see the same movie: Harry Potter. Yes, I hang with a sophisticated crowd.

 I was strong enough to pass on the sweets at the theater snack counter, but I did have some popcorn. My addiction is routed in habits so when I am in certain situations, I seem to be unable to not have the foods I associate with that activity. Popcorn at the movies is one of those situations. I am really proud of my accomplishment with regard to the weight I am at today but I wish I had been better able to control myself tonight. I brought string cheese with hopes that it would be enough to keep me solidly on the wagon but I am still just a little snout-nosed piggy when it comes to movies and popcorn.

 We went to dinner afterward and luckily I had been to that restaurant before and knew exactly what to order to stay on point. The day wasn't a total failure but it was disappointing when it came to my willpower. Kirstie Alley is looming before my eyes.

What I Ate Today:
Breakfast: Starbucks Iced Venti Skinny Hazelnut Latte
Lunch: South Beach Chocolate Peanut Butter Crispy Meal Bar
Snack: 4 oz Low-Fat String Cheese, 2 hands full of Popcorn
Dinner: Sautéed Mushrooms, Sautéed Salmon w/Almond Slices, Jicama and Cucumber Salad

EXERCISE:
None

I'm also not sure if it is because I had a weak food day or because there was some actual substance to my observation but I got the feeling my friend Tracy's boyfriend was grossed out by me. I used to think people were grossed out by me all the time. Especially at my heaviest. Even when I would be on stage acting like a total diva, there were moments when I would look out and just know that a percentage of the people watching thought I was disgusting for letting myself get that big. Sometimes I would look out at the audience and see a very thin girl and I would think, "she's taking a mental picture of me to use the next time she needs to throw up."

Sometimes now when I'm at parties or eating situations and I am eating in a manner that is less than birdlike, I think people are thinking, “What a pig!” I can't seem to shake that. I try but it lingers, much like my popcorn at the movies habit. I seem to spend my life fighting these conditioned responses. Does that happen for everyone? Is it conquerable? Or will I be saddled with these responses the rest of my life? I know that I am better than I used to be but I can't help but wonder if a person (above the age of 20) can ever completely rid themselves of thoughts and impulses they have had since childhood.

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